Quickie Game Reviews: Gunslinger and Rogue Legacy

It’s been a busy week couple of weeks for me and games. I’m probably addicted and should seek professional help, but then I’d just start reading books til 4AM instead.

ANYWAY. GAMES.

Call of Juarez: Gunslinger

Call of Juarez is great and it’s only $15. The steam sale should be starting this week, so there’s absolutely no reason for someone not to own this game. It’s an arcadey Wild West shooter with a level up system that doesn’t rely on goddamn numbers going up. Everything works as it should, but the real draw is the narrator.

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The setup is that you’re a grizzled old cowboy who gets progressively drunker as he recounts his bounty hunting days. Unlike Bastion, where the narrator reacts to the gameplay, the world in Gunslinger changes based on the narrator and his audience’s reactions. Enemies literally fall from the sky and start shooting you, Apaches turn into bandits after the narrator corrects himself, and you enter an infinite loop when he goes off to take a piss. It’s got a much nicer flow than Action, Exposition, Action, Audio Log, Action, Exposition.┬áThe newest Borderlands 2 DLC does this as well, so if you happen to like Tina (and there’s a million good reasons not to), go and get it.

Rogue Legacy

I replayed Binding of Isaac a bit the other day to see what the Steam cards were all about (absolutely nothing), and I just couldn’t get over how slow the whole process was (playing the game, not getting the cards). I remember hating how the enemies have WAY too much health, but incredibly simple attack patterns, turning every boss fight into a tedious mess until suddenly their damage quadruples and you die after 40 minutes because you didn’t happen to find 8 damage and rate of fire power ups. That game was never meant to be the hit it became, however, so I can forgive McMillan for not running through all the gajillion permutations of items and rooms.

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In Rogue Legacy, everything but bosses dies in 1-4 hits (including you, depending on your class) and you can choose between either running around collecting treasure or going for the area boss. It tickles all the right numbers-go-up triggers in my brain without doing anything stupid, like giving me a sword that lets me do 8x the damage with no trade-off. It’s a mix of Diablo and Burrito Bison.

I like it, but there are way too many sucker punch rooms. There’s some legitimate “trap” rooms that give you a second to react, but more often you’ll jump up into a tower room and have 6 rockets hit you from both sides of the screen within half a second. I also dislike the lack of variation in enemies and bosses, something that Binding of Isaac does almost perfectly.

Rolling a character with the gay trait is not special or controversial. It does not deserve articles. Games journalists are hacks and are just as terrible as in that one episode of Regular Show with the fortune cookie.